NEAATO Blog

NETWORK OF ENTERTAINING ASIAN AMERICAN TALENT

Jessica Alba Appears In Extremely Not-Phallic Calendar Shoot For Campari


Jessica Alba appears in the 2009 calendar for the alcoholic beverage Campari; several friends of mine have pointed out that these Alba photos are pretty overtly sexual, particularly with the way she handles the vaguely penis-shaped bottle, but I’ve been staring at these pics for hours and hours now and honestly, I don’t see it. Let’s take a look at some of the photos in question and see if we can uncover some of this so-called sexual symbolism: Pic #1 Alba Bottle MouthHere’s Jessica holding the bottle up to her red lips. Note that she’s holding the tip of the bottle very delicately with her entire hand, including her thumb, which is in no way a reference to how a female might handle a male sexual organ during foreplay, she’s just grasping the bottle well so she doesn’t drop it. She’s holding it up to her lips because she’s going to drink it, not because she is going to slide the tip of the bottle in and out of her mouth repeatedly. No innuendo here. Pic #2 Alba Holding BottleHere’s Jessica holding the bottle at an angle, which is pretty normal and the way most people hold bottles of liquor. This is in no way meant to reference penile contact, even though she’s holding the bottle exactly where a man’s genitals might be if that man were standing next to her and she were grabbing his penis, which she’s not. Once again, I don’t really see anything racy in this pic. Next. Pic #3 Alba Campari On Self Definitely nothing sexual here. Not going to waste time elaborating. Moving along… Pic #4 Alba Bottle Straight UpHere’s Jessica in a tight embrace with another man, presumably a platonic friend. Notice the bottle is standing straight up, because it’s on a table, so of course it’s standing straight up. That’s what a bottle would do. It is not an erection, it is a bottle of Campari. What? Pic #5 Alba PENISI’m not sure why Campari decided to insert a cartoon dialogue bubble into this picture, it looks a little forced, but again, I don’t really see any sexual symbolism here, or in this entire calendar for that matter. Maybe I’m just being too skeptical — I may have to look at these photos again and again for several dozen hours once I get home, but I highly doubt I’m gonna find anything sexual. Better bookmark this page for future research.

One comment on “Jessica Alba Appears In Extremely Not-Phallic Calendar Shoot For Campari

  1. David
    January 2, 2010

    nice collection, i have found collection of jessica alba wallpapers [JUST GOOGLED]
    http://www.downloaddesktopwallpapers.com/jessica_alba-desktop-wallpapers.html

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on December 4, 2008 by in Uncategorized and tagged .
%d bloggers like this: