NETWORK OF ENTERTAINING ASIAN AMERICAN TALENT
10. Family and group photos – That’s right, the time as come to take that ‘Loving Family’ group pic. Sure you might not have seen your sister in 3 years but that’s okay. Nobody needs to know. Cheese!
and while we’re at it…let’s add all your relatives in the group photo too.
Now we play the game of ‘let’s compare each others kids’ during the Holiday. Oh great fun! Just because your parents don’t bug you about being a Doctor during the X-mas, doesn’t mean your relatives can’t also have the joy of asking you if you’ve become a doctor or not.
9. Catching up on Disney (more like Pixar now) movies – so you just had the big family dinner and there are tons of kids around. what to do next? Plop in that disney or pixar movie you haven’t seen. There’s bound to be ONE person who says ‘I haven’t seen UP yet’ while everyone else says “OMG!! We’re renting that NOW!”
8. Bumping into an old asian friend at the mall – Since there is so much time to kill during the holidays and you have to buy something anyways, why not go to the mall. And since everyone goes to the mall, you’ll bump into friends you haven’t seen in 10 years from elementary and spend 5 minutes wondering why the other person looks so familiar.
7. Family Drama – With the Holiday cheer brings the Holiday Drama. That Aunt you’ve been avoiding, yup, they’re coming. Or maybe you’re just having some tea with your new girlfriend. Holidays = stress and stress = drama. It’s unavoidable.
6. Church – That’s right, your grandma wants to go to church, and guess what? That means your parents have to go to church along with your aunts, uncles, their kids…you get the deal. Church is almost unavoidable. But Christmas church isn’t so bad when you were a kid, you’d get a present of some sort and there was a potluck. Now that you’re older, you go to Church just to see how older and depressed everyone your age is. But hey…free eggrolls! So why not?
5. Watching the Lakers play on Xmas morning – OK, so maybe your family isn’t Laker fans, maybe it’s Rockets or well, I can’t think of any other NBA with a big Asian fanbase to be honest. I’d say Clipper fans, but chances are your High Expectations Asian Father grew up watching the Lakers over the Clippers. It’s hard for a refugee and struggling while watching more struggles from Danny Manning and the Clippers. There’s usually a big Lakers vs some other NBA team during Christmas, and chances are Lakers will probably lose (because they can care less about the regular season) and chances are your grandma and mom will keep repeating ‘Have the Lakers lost yet’ or ‘They suck’ or sometimes they’re get really detailed like ‘Kobe never gets rebounds, his +/- percentage when he’s in is getting lower lately’. But like everything else during the Holidays, it’s something to do to pass the time.
And it’s too bad Pac-man fights aren’t during the holidays. For now, we’ll have to settle for Tiger Woods or some MMA fighter w/ some Asian blood in them. Go Temecula!
4. Sleep – You think just because it’s the Holidays you get to sleep in? Not so fast! Family is coming and you better clean up! Don’t want to give that impression that….you’re sleeping in during the HOLIDAYS!
3. Seeing new Asian babies! – That’s right, it’s that time again where we see our relatives babies. Oh my how fast they grow these days.
2. Family Gambling time! – Everyone’s eaten, kids are watching Pixar DVDS….now it’s time for the main event. POKER!! Or some other sort of gambling. Your uncles have now all slowly morphed into Scotty Nguyen. ‘C’mon baby! All in!’
1. Red envelopes – who needs to gift wrap something or give a Best Buy gift card when you’ve got…..Red Envelopes! Not so much as fun as an adult, but as a kid, those red envelopes were better than getting your favorite toy. You’ve learned as a kid that it’s not the thickness of the envelope that counts (because chances are, it’s probably a bunch of ones) but the career of the giver (High Expectation Father strikes again!) Or maybe they just won some money playing Lotto. Either way, the Red Envelopes rule!